Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers–Rage-Grief-Healing
Clients often react to their therapists' vacation breaks as a kind of "abandonment", responding in ways that shed light on their feelings about neediness and dependency.
Rather, if we survive this, we can possibly become some of the strongest and self-actualized people on this planet. They were fortunate to be raised without personality disordered parents and seem to me to be loving and balanced persons.
They feel sorry because they believe I am hurting my brother. My mom is indeed Narcissist and also is BPD borderline personnality disorder. Narcissistic mothers test two daughters to see which one will be the standout. I am more motivated than ever to heal the emotional pain and abuse my mother inflicted upon me for 38 years.
I remember the feeling of being no longer loved now that there was finally a boy in the family. Daughters of narcissistic mothers have a particularly difficult life road to travel.
From childhood they have had to contend with mothers who were cold. Your brother is not on your side. Between the NPD and the dementia, the situation became untenable and as a matter of self preservation I elected to have no contact over a year ago.
My much older brother was and still is the golden child, I was and still am the scapegoat. This is definitely one condition where a conscious parent avoids, passing it on. I honor what you have been through and the way you are leading your life. As the case was with Deeana she enlisted one of my daughters to make horrible accusations leading to sad and devastating consequences.
That hurts me maybe the most. My father was her biggest enabler, before he died. Only this last Sunday my mother and I came to blows. With a mother like this who needs enemies? This has ended up in a severe disruption of the relationship between me and that child.
I know I am miles ahead of her in many aspects. I needed to read that. She is a pitiful martyr. From being talented she is an actress to charismatic to cherished and looked up to by all….
Her behaviour gives me anxiety and grief. There then came a point where I fully realized that my mother was capable of emotionally destroying me to preserve herself.
But how can you feel somethjng for someone who never truly showed you love but only discouragement and disrespect and manipulative behavior. Last year my mom gave me an old worn table that she had just spray painted; but it was given to me before my sister-n-law showed up, for some reason. But my getting stronger and healthier did not heal my relationship with my mother — quite the opposite.
I have had trouble my whole life dealing with my narcissist mother. Thank you for writing this article. Clients often react to their therapists' vacation breaks as a kind of "abandonment", responding in ways that shed light on their feelings about neediness and dependency. From childhood they have had to contend with mothers who were cold.
My mom was recently diagnosed with a very agressive cancer. I was made to feel ugly, stupid, a sinner, etc. I ended up talking about my mother.. What I can offer you is my heart that is full of love for you and for all of those daughters of narcissistic mothers that you mention.
I know it will be a process. My dad was nothing but a zombiefied shell of his original self the last time I saw him which as 3 months prior to going No Contact. Thank you so much for this article. The sentence you wrote: My dad finally divorced her because he was in bad health and she did not want to include me and my sisters in his will.
It has not worked. I could see other mothers loving their daughters, but I knew it was not what I had. She basically wanted everything. And no bruises to show for it. I too am the daughter of a narcissistic mother. I feel like this could be me. It is better be a wolf for a day then a sheep all your life! Mom was a lot harder on me and the middle sister cause we were only 11 months apart. My entire life has always revolved around a delusional competition she created in her head between us.Daughters of narcissistic mothers have a particularly difficult life road to travel.
She is a narcissis of grand scale. Its just important never to keep it all bottled to yourself, like you did for the past younger years of your life. In her jealousy she uses other family members to attack me too. But my mother is not going to be there. Bits by bits I am discovering the real story behind my youth and young adulthood. She focused all of attention on him and paid us very little attention.